EricWorld

Click the button below to expand the post or click again to hide the post. 这次爬山我挑战2瓶1500ml的水和2瓶500ml的水还有其他杂物包括我的iPad，这是我挑战里的最高难度之一，之前都是朋友帮我拿，然后我也有尝试拿一瓶上，那次对我来说真的很辛苦，但这次我想要挑战我的极限，还好没晕倒就是差那么一点就真的倒了，视线模糊不清脚使唤不到头脑很重手也没力气了，但是就是刹那间快倒是，突然手与脚很自然的平衡回然后就倒在石头上，手也尽力的顶着整个笨重的身体，然后头脑就慢慢恢复精神，大概10秒吧才没事，然后脚与手慢慢恢复使唤我才能继续上。可能我告诉自己不能就这样倒下，不然我所有的东西就会不见掉，到最后我还是醒来了，就继续冲不能停，限定自己每次停下来不可超过1分钟，但是倒下那刻开始我做不到了，我停了两次的5分钟，接着打算到湖景时才可以喝水，但是不能了，我再不喝我倒下的机会会提升到70%，所以没办法了一定要喝了，还好有买到糖果补充糖分，脑才清醒一点，可能晚餐才吃那几块面包早餐才那几块饼所以体力不足吧。我不懂为什么要坚持挑战自己，可能想知道自己的能力到哪里，或者试探自己的坚持能维持几久会不会就那样放弃，那一点痛，辛苦，重担，受伤，缺氧缺水等等。。。但是我还是很坚持的冲到最后。我也感觉蛮轻松因为自己一个人爬山，不必对到什么人就表现自己怎样，与别人一起爬山时我显得一幅不怕高不怕任何东西！哈哈下到山他们还说你很敢的咯一点都不怕，习惯就好啦这就是我的回答。但是今天我一个人时既然与平时的与别人爬山显得不一样。这次才伤到手已经很不错了比起那次脚与手都伤到血流不停。一个人爬山也突然让我想起一件事，原来我是一个很喜欢保护人的动物哈哈，因为记得几次，为了带路所以爬很慢，上山觉得会危险所以每次选择在后面看着，下山觉得滑所以就一直从前面带路，但是又怕阻碍别人所以不管多怕高都是硬着头皮冲啊，甚至表现自己不怕高的我在前面带路，还有就是他们都很赶时间所以不管发生什么事，我脑里就是告诉自己别阻碍别人，就算要倒下也不可以表现出来。不明白为什么我那么喜欢玩保护的工作，不认识的也会尽力但不会过火，认识的就坚持一点但是还是会给自己一条线，如果是谁谁，我是超在乎的，所以就让很多谁谁都讨厌我哈哈！所以呢还是自己一个人舒服多，今天我不必在乎任何...

Click the button below to expand the post or click again to hide the post. 好咯想通了，昨天与朋友聊废话时，突然他说了一句话，虽然很普通但是我终于想通了，多的那句话我现在没那么烦了，知道该做什么和不该做什么。我不必把东西看得太重，因为负面的东西才会把所有的东西拿走，我一直把东西看得太负面所以才一直一直的失去，加上时间未到，硬硬的夺取只会造成自己辛苦，要的不是负面情绪而是舒服的情绪，要的不是压力而是开心，要的是明白而不是了解，因为一直在负面盒子里旋转加上压力的打击又不给自己喘气的空间导致很多负面东西产生。现在我要做的是把情绪分类，每一个盒子代表不同的阶段，每一个盒子都有它本身的情绪，只要在适当的时候使用适当的盒子就不会导致负面情绪产生。我今年的最大目标就是要'不一样' 总之做什么都好，我都要反过来做。简单来说，你们选择直走，但是我要反过来就是背面倒走， 你们认为12345678910的顺着去算，但是我要到过来算10987654321。原因不为什么，因为我想跳出一个反逻辑的盒子，别人看到我可能会很怪，但是我要坚持做相反的东西，因为我要从相反的领域看东西，要你们看到的是'特别'，要你们感觉'特别'，要你们知道'特别'。 对于她。。。我也是要让她感觉'特别'，重点是不一样，之前我所做的是我对她，现在我要反过来就是她对我。她现在很生气我吧，我也不懂能做什么来让她原谅我，只希望她会给个小机会我，如果她不肯我也不能再逼她了，因为我真的让她很压力，完全没体会她的感受。不过怎样都好我答应过的东西一定会做到，但是有件事我还没答应她所以我一直没做，不过她没发现就行咯哈哈。已经打了一个月多，没想到我还能站着面对更大的打击，但是我真的受伤了，因为没为自己疗伤所以伤口一次比一次严重，但是这次我需要自己疗伤了，因为还有整整10个月的更大打击会冲着我来，如果才那一个月就倒下，太不像我了！我坚持相信我的结局会是怎样所以我不会放弃追逐这个游戏，我就不信我没法过到这难关！相反的东西的确比正常的东西来的难做，但是这才是挑战，希望今年我能达成我的目标。 Expand / Hidden

Click the button below to expand the post or click again to hide the post. Still don't know what the reason I still wanna make her happy or try to cheer her up, ya I'm still angry still stress still pain... But still don't know what the reason I still care about her... Ya I know I'm stupid keep give people hurt me keep stress myself keep doing stupid thing, seriously I know what I'm doing all is stupid, but why I keep continue this stupid action? And I always tell me that she know people's but not understand me, which means she know what type of person of me but is not understand what kind of person of me. My best friend told me that meet lot of people and you may know what kind of person you know, but if want understand someone it was really hard, you need spend lot of time lot of effort to get understanding what type of person you want to understand. Second I keep told myself that I'm not the person that able give what she needed, because I can't ev...

Click the button below to expand the post or click again to hide the post. Heart? Is not my heart? What does she mean is not my heart? Why do you care about is not my heart or what? As long as I know what should I do and will not care about what you guys think of me. Yes I'm tired, I really tired keep wearing mask be human, but I have no choice... I don't know what I want to write now, because just now I tell her everything I must not tell... Now my heart very uncomfortable and I think if continue like this soon I will get heart cancer... What the heck I writing here? I don't know I can't control what I'm thinking my mind wanna explode, those annoying negative emotion keep spinning those bad feeling keep poisoning my heart I do really very holy stress now... No one will know how I feel now, even she say she know how I feel, please you not me how you know? You say believe me, what the reason you believe me? You understand my pain? Please how you know the pain feel...

Click the button below to expand the post or click again to hide the post. First day of work, nothing special only need sign a lousy paper that show my working performance, well last time my score is crazy high, why because the head like me and I also very good listen everything she say so I get high score, then this time get low already all because I hate her and starting not listen every words she say and even scold back her, so she tick me I control my emotion very badly, o well after sign and pass back to her and she ask me any comments? I say nope because I only need a standard score normal score like what I'm, I don't want get super top or high score because only will exchange to stress... O yay, forget 1 thing starting from today, I will become very difference and uncatchable person, because I don't want people think who am I or what am I! I will always wear a smiling mask facing all people no matter how I feel on that day and I only will keep smile... Crab I use...

Click the button below to expand the post or click again to hide the post. Really I do care too much until forget who am I! Never mind I will do what I should do now and of course I will learn not to care too much and give back myself freedoms, don't know why I'm so angry when I hear that news, but still if lie to me I might become very angry and unforgivable, lucky let me know early without lie on me, tell me the truth better that lie on me, because I do really hate people cheat on me! And second is already promise but can't deliver I'm also very angry but not much that people who cheat me to! Fine, I should let my self cool down and not to think too much because its not of them business! All is about me, I mad myself because really do care too much, I hate myself because fall into the abyss still don't want to climb up, I scold myself because keep don't understand other people feeling, if I don't understands people feeling how they understand me? I curs...

Click the button below to expand the post or click again to hide the post. I wonder I'm still alive and writing some stuff here, because last year some rumor say that 2012-12-21 is the end of the world... Haha funny if do really end I hope I'm the last person die before the world end, because I want to see how this world gonna end! But still the world fail me, it didn't end at all, but I'm almost end myself lock into the lousy situation, but so far so good now, try thinking something special and something worth me to do on my next year is quite fun also, although this year I fail my target anyway not totally fail at lease get some pass grade not full marks. But true this year I'm facing my life very difficulty, my career not as good as I aspect, my life still same, even I try to chill me up but still a lot negative stuff pull me down, like my car, friendship, colleague, finance, living, almost everything around me keep pulling me down to abyss, seriously nothing ...