Emotion...

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Heart? Is not my heart? What does she mean is not my heart? Why do you care about is not my heart or what? As long as I know what should I do and will not care about what you guys think of me. Yes I'm tired, I really tired keep wearing mask be human, but I have no choice... I don't know what I want to write now, because just now I tell her everything I must not tell... Now my heart very uncomfortable and I think if continue like this soon I will get heart cancer... What the heck I writing here? I don't know I can't control what I'm thinking my mind wanna explode, those annoying negative emotion keep spinning those bad feeling keep poisoning my heart I do really very holy stress now... No one will know how I feel now, even she say she know how I feel, please you not me how you know? You say believe me, what the reason you believe me? You understand my pain? Please how you know the pain feel when they is an invisible poison knife stab in my heart? I don't know why I keep saying this junk! Friend? Is that really what you want? But still I can't say "as you wish'', because once I say this word is mean no turning back and I will not let myself turning back... Ya I'm lonely, I do really need somebody to care about me, why I know her? Why she wanna care about me? Because a lonely person like me when found someone who care about me, seriously I will not let go so easy unless you did a big mistake on me and I will choose get out of my life! I'm tired, stress, pain, lonely... But what can I do? This few day I keep thinking 1 word and 1 case, I don't understand why I keep thinking this... Because it was very pain, it truly stab very deep in my heart, but no one know the pain I feel... I had a hard time to keep smiling while working or facing other people, but I have to force myself to do it, people is innocent I should not tell them how am I. Even get mad! So I have to close and keep hide my emotion in deep in my heart. I'm very emotion people, even my friends also notice that, so I will not let this happen again, this time I will hide very deep so no one will notice who am I, unless I betrayed myself.