Wedding...

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Holy nuts my friend and I was misunderstand each other talking, because he told me his wedding is on 18th, but actually is on 19th I keep told him I can't make it because I had to help her maintain the class, plus I already say if you need my help just say yes and I will push the invitation away even I may lost my friend also, I feel it was like last history reply again when my high school I was plan to try and test was her really not like my friend or what, but my friend was misunderstand and hate me already reason I don't know, so I lost my friend because of her... So this time like the history replay again, lucky it was misunderstand only at last I call my friend for help, then she say that wrong date and she will ask him again, and then confirm the date and time, what a lousy joke he's the one who should apologies to me lol, so finally my stress is over didn't lost anything and everything going smoothly. The last problem I gonna solve is my car, if I follow my friend car, then I should get a place to park my car, that's why I wonder is it possible but still I already know impossible lol just ask for fun. So I have no other choice have to park at my old place and hope it safe there if I'm not around 3 days, after that I took the LRT and monorail go meet up my friend and ready go to Rauh, around 2 hours plus with the Jam we reach, so I'm the one take charge of the camera section, I have to record every detail as in 1 SD card and limit battery, o well at least I can he out, then when go get his wife have to pass all the challenge, first is to dance the gangnam style, but non one of our brother know only I know but I have to handle camera, so I put down my beg and camera and join in help out, then after the dance section have to take path in second challenge is to finish the 苦瓜， lucky is not very bad also we help together finish it all, then next is the apple, take off the skin without breaking it, then next have to create and sing song to his wife, then this path is a bit crazy, some of us have to take the key from the pail and full with cold water, brother have to use his leg to find and grab the key come out, then go in the house still have some challenge need him to finish, even open the door and go inside still have to challenge him... After this have to start the event... Whole process was fun actually but like a camera man like me really tired, have to catch all the detail before rest. Then I'm keep thinking can I did the same thing while I wedding? I think will not happen at all, because I don't have parent I don't have fate on religious, brother sister also don't have, like I'm really nobody with nothing at all can I give my love one a perfect wedding? I more like free style wedding, and I don't like grand wedding like this so busy and always follow the story or program that has been set. What I think is, I will drive my own favorite car Toyota Artis and go fetch my wife then we go to the church and get wedding, her parent pass me her hand and i will promise forever take care and love her then we continue the church wedding ceremony, after finish we direct go to the airport and fly to where book our honeymoon without taking the wedding dress off depart from airport... All I like is simple easy and freedom with promise, will it possible become real? A single person like me who will like this style, so I starting become thinking more realistic, maybe I can't give anything expansive stuff or spend so much money stuff but I will do my best to get it to my wife and I will spend all the money from me to my wife without single word because I love my wife just like loving my self, second is heart, I'm totally able give her all my heart because that's all I really can do it and surely able give to my wife... But realistic word who will love the poor guy with heart only? So I'm not thinking marry or even girlfriend because I do really scare I can't give her what she want. I can give her my world my everything, but will she accept my world? I think will not, who will like my world anyway, what their want is better life marry a good husband that able give her happy and better life, example like my friend she do marry a good husband, he able give her happy and better life do what she like to do to archive her dream...
I make it short and summarize what happen to me this 2 day, nothing much to say anyway, on the Saturday night, I drink quite lot wine and beer also, but beer no nice because don't have feel also so when I drink the wine I start feel a bit dizzy, so then when we gather together and chitchat this few year what have we done each other and chat about life, then when come to my path section, because I have whole night bad sleep at all, I didn't sleep well but I don't want to tell everyone so I just kept it in secret but after the wine no idea why I start say what I want to say, so I think I make people angry again... Then whole night actually I don't want to sleep I just want continue drink beer and let the beer wash away my stress and my tear my pain, because I keep thinking about her, I watch the ghost movie at night close all the light and feel quite nice, then sudden those family come back and the kids though I'm fall in sleep already so he go turn off the TV OMG! I just watch the half way... Nothing say already... Then after everybody go upstairs I start drinking beer and sleep on the bench and feel very tired already almost fall in sleep, so I just turn off everything and sleep on the bench in the living room, around 0430 something I feel very cold here, so I have to move myself to the bed room and continue sleep... Then the dream so scary? Maybe... Because I keep thinking about her and in the dream she very angry me don't know what the reason I keep helping her out but she didn't feel any happy at all, all I know was she don't like talk to me anymore, she don't care anything about me, I'm very scare I don't know what the reason... I'm very scare about she don't bother me anymore, I scare she hate me... Whole night is this dream, true I'm very scare because last Friday I do make her angry, I already say sorry but she didn't reply me anything... I'm very scare she hate me and don't bother me anymore, I want to message her but i don't dare because I scare she really hate me angry me, I don't dare to do anything... Plus actually I don't want write this feeling on my blog, because I know sometime she will read my blog, but I hope she didn't really wanna read this post because I don't want her know about my feeling, because only will make her more stress and unhappy and I don't want that to be happen, all I want is she no stress and be happy everyday... The stress and the pain just let me handle it please...