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It seem I do really hide the emotion quite good now, but I still need continue do more best to let all people think i'm ok, actually happen a lot of think between last night and today, I already did my best to hide myself, and so far so good, no one is thinking what happen to me, even my best friend also thinking i'm ok, ya good this is what I want, because I don't want they understand me or get knowing me at all, I just be like this as always, only I know who i'm only I know what I'm doing... I should be very happy because you telling me everything that happen to you, you say you meet the accident, seriously i'm very worry about you but I can't say, I can't act, a lot of thing I wanna tell you and say to you while I typing the message to you, but then I keep delete it, happen many time already then I come out the very last and simple words, because I keep lowering my profile, I do my best to stay at the line that don't care about you so much and more even try to stop thinking about you, but I can't do it till now, I can't stop thinking about you, almost everyday I keep thinking how are you, will you be fine happy stress less, but I force myself to understand that I can't do this! because i'm nobody to you at all, and this is your boy job not mine job, I keep put this words in my mind and keep telling me don't over come... But sometime I do really hate that you tell me something but you won't tell me all about it, just tell me a bit a bit then what? say nothing again~~ I don't want this, all I want to know is everything about you, which you can tell me everything that you wanna tell me but don't limit it and let me guess or sudden don't let me know and say ok fine nothing already, I don't like to hear this at all, ya you know I willing to do everything for you include the most important stuff in my life I also able scarify just for you, maybe this the reason that you always don't let me know all the story, and only will tell me a bit a bit...I keep force myself to work and stop thinking about you, but I still can't make it, even while I busy my heart still have the spike there that always hurt me, even sometime I also feel the pain inside my heart while I busy working, but so far so good, the tear haven't come out, only the sadness bring the pain, quite not fair first you give me everything, then now slowly take it back, what I want is very simple, but you always thinking that you can't give me what I want, I don't want you to be my Girlfriend because you already have your boyfriend and so I will only wait until you accept me, but so far I thinking i'm the one who can't giving you anything you want, and this the reason I should not let you be my girlfriend, all I want you is to be happy with your BF and your family that's all i'm enough already, even sometime I do hope some simple care about me and you, a simple good night and a simple relax and understand each other chitchat like before we chatting, singing, all those simple thing only, that's really enough already I don't want much, because the more I get, the more I will really care about you, yes I do, I hate falling in love with you, not because of you, it is my problem, because I can't match with you, can't give you what you really want, can't even understand you, but what I can say is, if you really is my forever partner, I will give the world of me to you, everything I can do it and if can't do it I will also make it possible to do it and just all because of you, I don't care how people see me how they think why I treat girl like this too over care, but for me, my forever partner is my everything, when I lose it which means I lose everything... About the work, actually in the early I tell you that I doing the stuff and take photo and send to you, only because I prepare for you to use only, I have some kind the feel that you may need it in the future, so I spend some time to study the rules and come out the design, I keep doing it just because for you only, then now you need it, of course I will not think twice or anything, and I say use my model, and you say will it ok for me, of course i'm ok everything, because I already say this model is special design just for you to use only, no matter how you gonna use it, and it only special design for you only, if need help just ask and i'm always at your behind ready to give any support for you. I don't care how you gonna treat or even forever don't care about me anymore, but what I can say is, i'm always at your behind and ready to give any support you want, your happiness is everything and most important for me after all. Today while I do some research on the web and found this words quite meaning~'XX不是等你有空才来珍惜' the XX is stand for some text to fill in and make it more meaning, but I don't want to say what it is, because I just need this word in my heart and keep it safely.